I'm pretty big on themes in life, and sit up and take notice when I see them. What are the topics that seem to bubble up in conversation frequently? That you read about in SI? Or see on SportsCenter? The big theme over the past couple weeks for me has been that of culture, identity, and mission, and how they tie into motivation.
In the past few days I have heard some variation of this theme from a collegiate strength and conditioning coach, a collegiate soccer coach, various sports parents, a high school baseball team, an adult horseback rider, and a 6th grade basketball player. All of these different people are coming from a different place, of course, but the similtarities are there - they are struggling due to a lack of overall guiding prinicple. In the sport psychology world, they are lacking a clearly defined mission statement.
Those without a clearly defined mission are more likely to:
- have trouble getting the most our of their athletes
- have a hard time staying fully motivated
- rest on their past achievements
- suffer communication breakdowns
- do not fully commit in training or competition
- panic when the pressure is on
Typically, problems with the mental game come from a series of small moments snowballing into something bigger. Having a clearly defined mission statement is one sport psychology technique that can help with focus, motivation, and keeping a positive mindset when things aren't going so well. The mission statement is meant to take a look at the big picture - the sum of all the parts: past history, skillset, work rate, goals, etc. Whereas most of the loss of focus, motivation and confidence comes from ballooning a mistake to be way bigger than it actually is in real life.
It is essential that each organization has a positive culture for it's members.
It is essential that each team within that organization has a specific mission statment that fits within the over-arching organization's mission.
It is essential that each athlete has a mission statement that fulfills not only themselves, but the mission of the team and organization.
So, what is your mission? Want help putting it together? Contact SPINw today to see how we can help with focus, confidence, motivation, and a positive overall mental game.
In the past few days I have heard some variation of this theme from a collegiate strength and conditioning coach, a collegiate soccer coach, various sports parents, a high school baseball team, an adult horseback rider, and a 6th grade basketball player. All of these different people are coming from a different place, of course, but the similtarities are there - they are struggling due to a lack of overall guiding prinicple. In the sport psychology world, they are lacking a clearly defined mission statement.
Those without a clearly defined mission are more likely to:
- have trouble getting the most our of their athletes
- have a hard time staying fully motivated
- rest on their past achievements
- suffer communication breakdowns
- do not fully commit in training or competition
- panic when the pressure is on
Typically, problems with the mental game come from a series of small moments snowballing into something bigger. Having a clearly defined mission statement is one sport psychology technique that can help with focus, motivation, and keeping a positive mindset when things aren't going so well. The mission statement is meant to take a look at the big picture - the sum of all the parts: past history, skillset, work rate, goals, etc. Whereas most of the loss of focus, motivation and confidence comes from ballooning a mistake to be way bigger than it actually is in real life.
It is essential that each organization has a positive culture for it's members.
It is essential that each team within that organization has a specific mission statment that fits within the over-arching organization's mission.
It is essential that each athlete has a mission statement that fulfills not only themselves, but the mission of the team and organization.
So, what is your mission? Want help putting it together? Contact SPINw today to see how we can help with focus, confidence, motivation, and a positive overall mental game.
Published in
In the Zone
Last year, SPINw began providing mental game training for BaxterSports Soccer and Sports Camps. We gave the young players an introduction to mental game techniques such as goal setting, positive self talk, and focus.
BaxterSports' addition of sport psychology and sports nutrition has given it a unique edge over the other Portland area camps, which helped them to be named Portland's Best Summer Sports Camp by NW Kids Magazine.
Check out BaxterSports' offerings here.
BaxterSports' addition of sport psychology and sports nutrition has given it a unique edge over the other Portland area camps, which helped them to be named Portland's Best Summer Sports Camp by NW Kids Magazine.
Check out BaxterSports' offerings here.
Published in
Mental Game Training
SPINw clients come in all ages, genders, and skill levels. Often we work with middle school and high school athletes, and when we do, the parents play a huge role in the process. With all athletes 18 years old and younger, we meet with the parents and athlete together before beginning our work with the athlete. We also meet again at the end of the sessions to go over next steps and how the parent can best continue to support their young athlete.
In addition to individual, team, and coaching sessions, we run parent education seminars for youth clubs and organizations. Our goal is to give sports parents the awareness and tools they need to be supportive and helpful to the athletes, teams and organizations.
That said, here are some of the most frequently asked questions we hear from and about parents, with answers from SPINw's Brian Baxter, Jimmy Yoo, and Elliott Waksman.
Q: What is wrong with these parents?! Why do they get so worked up over their kids' sports?
Brian: This is a pretty typical question we get. While the stereotypical irate sport parent may get all the headlines, the majority of sports parents are really positive and supportive. That said, from time to time, most parents can get caught up in the action when their kids are involved. I have had poor parent behavior at sports events described as "sideline rage" - like a driver may experience "road rage." It's an emotional reaction to something that someone has done to "Me!" Therefore, make sure that you let the sport event be about your child, and not you personally.
Q: How do I know if my child is succeeding in his sport?
Q: I have tried everything I know, but I can't seem to help my athlete with their confidence/focus/attitude anymore. What can I do?
Brian: Most of the young athletes we see here at SPINw have the most supportive parents who have reached the end of their knowledge of how to help. At a certain point, just hearing something from your parents will not sink in for a teenager (sometimes it does many months or years down the line, but not in that moment). The first thing you may want to try is to simply ask your athlete what they need from you - "How can I help?" Helping them find the answers for themselves is important. If you can't do that, don't worry - you're not alone!
Contact us to find out how one of our SPINw consultant can be the objective, supportive voice in taking the next step.
In addition to individual, team, and coaching sessions, we run parent education seminars for youth clubs and organizations. Our goal is to give sports parents the awareness and tools they need to be supportive and helpful to the athletes, teams and organizations.
That said, here are some of the most frequently asked questions we hear from and about parents, with answers from SPINw's Brian Baxter, Jimmy Yoo, and Elliott Waksman.
Q: What is wrong with these parents?! Why do they get so worked up over their kids' sports?
Brian: This is a pretty typical question we get. While the stereotypical irate sport parent may get all the headlines, the majority of sports parents are really positive and supportive. That said, from time to time, most parents can get caught up in the action when their kids are involved. I have had poor parent behavior at sports events described as "sideline rage" - like a driver may experience "road rage." It's an emotional reaction to something that someone has done to "Me!" Therefore, make sure that you let the sport event be about your child, and not you personally.
Q: How do I know if my child is succeeding in his sport?
Jimmy: Rather than emphasizing the need to be the best on the team or a starter, focus success in the following manner:
*Giving it your all or giving maximum effort in practice and games
*Be a student of the game, always be willing to learn and improve
*Refuse to let fear and mistakes stop you
Q: I have tried everything I know, but I can't seem to help my athlete with their confidence/focus/attitude anymore. What can I do?
Brian: Most of the young athletes we see here at SPINw have the most supportive parents who have reached the end of their knowledge of how to help. At a certain point, just hearing something from your parents will not sink in for a teenager (sometimes it does many months or years down the line, but not in that moment). The first thing you may want to try is to simply ask your athlete what they need from you - "How can I help?" Helping them find the answers for themselves is important. If you can't do that, don't worry - you're not alone!
Contact us to find out how one of our SPINw consultant can be the objective, supportive voice in taking the next step.
Published in
General
MOTIVATION
A frequent theme of questions we get from parents centers on the athlete's motivation, or sometimes the seeming lack thereof. In our experiences, an athlete lacking in motivation or effort may simply be suffering for lack of confidence and not necessarily motivation. Athletes are invidiuals and tend to be motivated uniquely. That said, there are some basic rules of thumb on the most effective way to tap into motivation.
Q: Is it okay to give my child $ or gifts for on-field performance?
Brian: The sport psychology version of this question is "is it okay to use external motivators to improve my athlete's motivation and therefore, performance?" The main goal should be to help foster the athlete's internal motivation - that is - the fire, passion, and enjoyment within to participate and excel in their sport. Using monetary rewards or gifts is a form of external motivation. As a general rule, external motivation may work in the short term, but does not work for the long term. If used correctly, an athlete's internal motivation will improve, but it has to be done with care.
More often than not, the use of $ and gifts turns into a net negative, causing:
*focus on the wrong things
*jealousy among teammates,
*going against the coach's wishes, and
*selfish play.
If the external motivators become the driver of performance, it will be expected time after time. If the athlete can only become motivated by external factors, well, you can see where it might go. If an external motivator is used, be sure to tie it into how the performance makes the athlete feel internally: proud, confident, happy, etc. Make that internal reward really known and appreciated.
Q: My athlete doesn't seem to want it as much as I do! How can I motivate him/her?
Brian: As with the previous answer, the key is in helping the athlete find internal motivation. Remember, as an adult, if you played sports, it probably took many years for you to learn everything you know about your sport. The same will be true for your young athlete - it might be a process and take time for the child to "get it." And, as I mentioned in the intro, lack of motivation may simply be a lack of confidence in the player's ability, so be careful how you approach it. Try to focus as much as you can on the athlete's: effort level, attitude, teamwork, and enjoyment in their sport. This will help the athletes along the way. Your job as a parent is to guide them in the right direction, not do it for them.
Q: My son plays for a bad team and is getting dejected, how can I give contructive advice?
A frequent theme of questions we get from parents centers on the athlete's motivation, or sometimes the seeming lack thereof. In our experiences, an athlete lacking in motivation or effort may simply be suffering for lack of confidence and not necessarily motivation. Athletes are invidiuals and tend to be motivated uniquely. That said, there are some basic rules of thumb on the most effective way to tap into motivation.
Q: Is it okay to give my child $ or gifts for on-field performance?
Brian: The sport psychology version of this question is "is it okay to use external motivators to improve my athlete's motivation and therefore, performance?" The main goal should be to help foster the athlete's internal motivation - that is - the fire, passion, and enjoyment within to participate and excel in their sport. Using monetary rewards or gifts is a form of external motivation. As a general rule, external motivation may work in the short term, but does not work for the long term. If used correctly, an athlete's internal motivation will improve, but it has to be done with care.
More often than not, the use of $ and gifts turns into a net negative, causing:
*focus on the wrong things
*jealousy among teammates,
*going against the coach's wishes, and
*selfish play.
If the external motivators become the driver of performance, it will be expected time after time. If the athlete can only become motivated by external factors, well, you can see where it might go. If an external motivator is used, be sure to tie it into how the performance makes the athlete feel internally: proud, confident, happy, etc. Make that internal reward really known and appreciated.
Q: My athlete doesn't seem to want it as much as I do! How can I motivate him/her?
Brian: As with the previous answer, the key is in helping the athlete find internal motivation. Remember, as an adult, if you played sports, it probably took many years for you to learn everything you know about your sport. The same will be true for your young athlete - it might be a process and take time for the child to "get it." And, as I mentioned in the intro, lack of motivation may simply be a lack of confidence in the player's ability, so be careful how you approach it. Try to focus as much as you can on the athlete's: effort level, attitude, teamwork, and enjoyment in their sport. This will help the athletes along the way. Your job as a parent is to guide them in the right direction, not do it for them.
Q: My son plays for a bad team and is getting dejected, how can I give contructive advice?
Jimmy: A good rule of thumb is the 5:1 praise to criticism ratio, find five things to praise before making a criticism. Also, try not to make statements that sound demanding or commanding. Try to phrase criticisms by using a phrase like “Maybe you could try doing it this way next time”.
Remember that you are a role model.
Parents serve as the most influential role model to communicate the principles of fair play:
Create and discuss norms of respecting:
*Rules
*Opponents
*Officials
*Teammates
*Cooperation
*Fairness and honesty
*Importance of effort over outcome
Published in
General
COACHING
Another theme we are approached about by parents has to do with their child's coach. How players interact and communicate with their coaches (and vice versa) is obviously an enormous factor in the enjoyment, motivation, development and success in sports. Part of the job of being a good sports parent is to help your athlete as they experience different team environments, coaching styles, and coaching decisions along the way.
Q: What are your opinions on coaching your own kid?
Brian: Coaching your own child in sports can be a hugely rewarding experience, and most recreational sports organizations depend on parent coaches. There are some things to watch out for, however, and knowing when to pass your child on to the next coach is crucial. At SPINw, we have had several cases where the parent/coach-player relationship caused a lot of stress for everyone involved, and hurt the performance and development of the player. In my experience in youth soccer, the general rule of thumb is for a coach to work with a team for 2 years and then move them on. This is a seemingly good rule of thumb for other sports we have worked with, as well.
The most important thing for a parent-coach to keep in mind is this: separate the two jobs! When it's time for practice or game, be the coach. Once practice/game is over, be dad or mom. Financial guru Dave Ramsey has a funny story about a man who hired his son to work at his company. Unfortunately, the son was a terrible employee and the dad had the uneviable task of having to fire his son. So he bought 2 hats - one said "DAD" and the other said "BOSS." He asked his son to coffee and put on his "BOSS" hat: "Unfortunately, John, your work has been subpar for a while now, so I have to let you go." Then he put on his "DAD" had and followed with: "Son, I heard you got fired. I'm really sorry to hear that - let's talk about what we can do about it." For a parent-coach, remember that you wear 2 hats - you will look silly trying to wear them both at the same time.
Q: My daughter's coach is a 'yeller' and it's not her style - what can I do about it?
Brian: First and foremost, be a supportive parent. Make sure that the 'yelling' coach is doing so out of motivation and not intimidation. Getting to know your athlete's coach before the season and communicating expectations early on will go a long way (see answer below to the next question). Let your child know that they are loved and supported and try to help them see that the coach is trying to help them, that the coach would only push a player who they see potential in. As an adult, you know that the athlete will experience others in positions of authority like this later in life (bosses, police officers, etc.) Help the player understand that learning to deal with and thrive under different leadership styles is an important part of life.
Q: Should I speak to the coach if my son or daughter is having a hard time?
Another theme we are approached about by parents has to do with their child's coach. How players interact and communicate with their coaches (and vice versa) is obviously an enormous factor in the enjoyment, motivation, development and success in sports. Part of the job of being a good sports parent is to help your athlete as they experience different team environments, coaching styles, and coaching decisions along the way.
Q: What are your opinions on coaching your own kid?
Brian: Coaching your own child in sports can be a hugely rewarding experience, and most recreational sports organizations depend on parent coaches. There are some things to watch out for, however, and knowing when to pass your child on to the next coach is crucial. At SPINw, we have had several cases where the parent/coach-player relationship caused a lot of stress for everyone involved, and hurt the performance and development of the player. In my experience in youth soccer, the general rule of thumb is for a coach to work with a team for 2 years and then move them on. This is a seemingly good rule of thumb for other sports we have worked with, as well.
The most important thing for a parent-coach to keep in mind is this: separate the two jobs! When it's time for practice or game, be the coach. Once practice/game is over, be dad or mom. Financial guru Dave Ramsey has a funny story about a man who hired his son to work at his company. Unfortunately, the son was a terrible employee and the dad had the uneviable task of having to fire his son. So he bought 2 hats - one said "DAD" and the other said "BOSS." He asked his son to coffee and put on his "BOSS" hat: "Unfortunately, John, your work has been subpar for a while now, so I have to let you go." Then he put on his "DAD" had and followed with: "Son, I heard you got fired. I'm really sorry to hear that - let's talk about what we can do about it." For a parent-coach, remember that you wear 2 hats - you will look silly trying to wear them both at the same time.
Q: My daughter's coach is a 'yeller' and it's not her style - what can I do about it?
Brian: First and foremost, be a supportive parent. Make sure that the 'yelling' coach is doing so out of motivation and not intimidation. Getting to know your athlete's coach before the season and communicating expectations early on will go a long way (see answer below to the next question). Let your child know that they are loved and supported and try to help them see that the coach is trying to help them, that the coach would only push a player who they see potential in. As an adult, you know that the athlete will experience others in positions of authority like this later in life (bosses, police officers, etc.) Help the player understand that learning to deal with and thrive under different leadership styles is an important part of life.
Q: Should I speak to the coach if my son or daughter is having a hard time?
Jimmy: You should encourage your children to communicate effectively for themselves. Empowering a player to articulate their concerns, whether it revolves around playing time, identifying skills that need improving, or something else, encourages self-confidence because it provides the athlete with a strong sense of pride and ownership. The only time a parent should consult a coach about a sport related issues is when the player has repeatedly attempted to speak with the coach and does not feel that the issues has been resolved.
Published in
General
SUPPORT
As mentioned in the first segment, most sports parents are not the stereoypical pain-in-the-neck parents who are living vicariously through their children. Most are highly supportive, love their kids immensly, and want the best for their kids. A lot of the questions we get from parents is simply how to best support their kids in sports. When to push, when to prod, when to ask questions, and when to just leave them alone!
Q: I want to know how my teenager's day went - when is the best time to check in?
Q: After games, we sometimes get into arguments, how can I better handle after-game situations?
Q: How should I best support my athlete emotionally?
As mentioned in the first segment, most sports parents are not the stereoypical pain-in-the-neck parents who are living vicariously through their children. Most are highly supportive, love their kids immensly, and want the best for their kids. A lot of the questions we get from parents is simply how to best support their kids in sports. When to push, when to prod, when to ask questions, and when to just leave them alone!
Q: I want to know how my teenager's day went - when is the best time to check in?
Elliott: I will often facilitate a problem solving activity with sport families. Recently, my client and the mother agreed to only chat about the day’s practice or competition over dinner, rather than immediately after the child walk in the house. The student-athlete responded much better without cold clothes and a hungry stomach.
Q: After games, we sometimes get into arguments, how can I better handle after-game situations?
Elliott: I recommend to the parents of my clients to stick to the normal routine no matter the outcome of the game. If you go to lunch after a win, do the same after a loss. Otherwise, the student-athlete might relate the activities after the game with winning and losing.
Q: How should I best support my athlete emotionally?
Jimmy: Encourage them and be a good listener: parents are the main source of emotional support. You can play a vital role by encouraging your young athlete and providing an avenue for them to express their frustrations, fears, and successes.
Published in
General
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